When I was leaving KQTV one year ago, I felt I was probably leaving behind the feeling of having a work environment that was akin to "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." Little did I know how that feeling would be even more real in the position I was embarking one.
This marks around the one year anniversary of when I made the decision to take a position with KFSM television in Fort Smith. Reflecting on my decision now, it is one of the best I have ever made. It's given me an opportunity to shed myself of the previous cobweb of associations I had built-up and essentially start anew for the first time in my life. The only lifeforms that have been day-to-day constants in my life from my previous to current is my animals, who have been my rocks through this sometimes difficult and lonely transition.
Meeting people has been harder than I anticipated. The "Arklahoma" river valley region is unforgivening and unhappy in general. I am forcing myself to go out. I've both taken up Uber driving as a business decision to make having a reliable vehicle possible, which has also forced me to meet people. I've found a nearby bar(Lost Beach) I can escape to once or twice a week if I see the need, and a nearby music festival(Byrdfest) in the region I can escape to once or twice a year. Having the options for social catharsis are essentially to a happy life.
Work hasn't been all it was promised to be but it hasn't been disappointing. I oversee produce 14 newscasts a week, with the majority being on the weekends and I really like the people I work directly alongside. If I didn't absolutely love my career right now I probably already would've retreated back to Maryville for a hard reset. While they are reactionary (as all management in the news industry should be), I feel I have a good report with my managers as well. One of the most positive vocational aspects of my decision to move here is I have been able to focus entirely on what my job is, being a producer. Management of talent, scripting and story selection/ordering. Instead of editing the videos myself, I am essentially editing things together in my mind, communicating it to a co-worker, who then turns my vision into reality. I am no longer forced to go out as a photographer for half my shift like at KQ2, and instead I'm now able to spend my entire shift inside of the confines of the television station.
My only real regrets since getting here in Fort Smith are putting too much trust in a few people I built romantic connections with that completely flaked out. It's always disappointing when you get "ghosted" or rejected in any way. With where I am now in terms of my life, I've begun to focus most of my energy now on meeting people in Northwest Arkansas and not trying to build any more connections in Fort Smith than I need to.
Overall, I am hoping to feel more inspiration to update this over the coure of the next year. My life has been very uneventful in terms of things I want to share over the past year. I felt since it had been a year since I reflected though, it seemed to be as good of a time as ever to put some of my reflections on the past year into words.
I hope the next year brings more friends outside of work and more music and art in my life that I can enjoy collectively with others. Separating myself from society was exactly what I needed to regain my bearings, but now I feel like I need to re-emerge from my cave and once again take on the world and forge epic friendships.
